Contact WholeBody Wisdom for event and ticket information.
Saturday, February 28, 2009 at 12:45 PM (PT)
WholeBody Wisdom is delighted
to present
Embodied
Community Day
a day of edginess, play, growth and connection
for individuals, partners & friends
If you're ready to play big and have all parts of yourself seen and celebrated -- then come join us on:
Saturday,
February 28
This amazing day will have
three parts,
each section building on the one before:
12:45-6:00ish: Beyond Boundaries workshop
7:45-9:45ish: optional bonus 3rd Stage Relating
9:45 - ???: optional bonus Intimacy Lounge
We're turning up
the heat on this one ... be afraid ... be very afraid ...
Are you willing to let go
of the
illusion of safety
and
venture into the 3rd Stage?
"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."
-- Anais Nin"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
-- Helen Keller"Live to be in the present. Safety, security, knowing and being right are all synonyms for death."
-- Cheri Huber"In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety."
-- Abraham Maslow"The only security in life comes from learning to relish life's insecurity."
-- Alan Watts"If you're not amazed by how naive you were yesterday,
you're standing still.
If you're not terrified of the next step,
your eyes are closed.
If you're standing still and your eyes are closed,
you're only dreaming you're awake.
A caged bird in a boundless sky."
-- Jed McKenna
Will you join us on this journey out of our cages and into the boundless sky?
A day that's filled with people committed to spend the day practicing the Vision and Values described below. With all of us on the same page, we're able to spread our wings and soar ...
We're creating an event where we can:
Play,
Nurture,
Challenge each other to be our best and fullest selves.
What would it be like to ...
Surround yourself with people who are interested in living into their juicy future rather than protecting themselves from their painful past?
You're invited to be part of this unique experience:
This three-part event is going to be exiting and enlivening -- a place for those who are ready to find out what’s possible when powerful, loving, open-hearted people come together. Come join friends you already know ... or ones you've yet to meet. We’re going to breathe and move.... We'll have opportunities to emotionally connect…. To learn about ourselves and others…. To play and to grow...
"And then the day came,
when the risk
to remain tight
in a bud
was more painful
than the risk
it took
to Blossom"
-- Anais Nin"Trust, love, what we call sexy, who we trust in a business situation, are all based on how open we are. Openness is bodily openness, muscular relaxation, heart openness as opposed to hiding behind some emotional wall, and spiritual openness, which is actually feeling so fully into the moment that there's no separation between you and the entire moment."
From "Opening Spiritually and Sexually," an audiotape by David Deida"We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present."
--Marianne Williamson
Have you ever found yourself stuck when you and another are each expressing and defending your respective positions?
Have you experienced how the rigidity of boundaries can get in the way of your connecting and accomplishing things with others?
Have you noticed how some people hide their true feelings behind positions and rules?
As we learn how to take care of our needs and protect ourselves from harm, the first step is to gain the ability to set clear and firm boundaries.
It is essential to know what our limits are, be able to clearly express them, and have the ability to enforce them.
And it is equally crucial that we be grounded in our right to say “No”.
Yet -- setting boundaries has limitations. In our process of personal evolution, we often hold onto our need to set boundaries longer than we need to and in more situations than necessary.
There can be power and freedom in setting aside your boundaries/defenses and instead sharing your deepest and truest self.
"Dissolving the boundaries around our heart that we had to form to stand as independent people. Dissolving those boundaries so we can feel at-one-ness, the feel of unity, not only with an intimate partner, but with the whole world and all of humanity, so that our heart is really vulnerable and open."
-- David DeidaThe value of the personal relationship to all things is that it creates intimacy... and intimacy creates understanding... and understanding creates love."
-- Anais Nin
We all have motivations for having a given boundary. But, if you’re willing to reveal and share with others what you’re trying to protect with that boundary, then there’s an invitation for the others to be loving partners in your self-care and personal growth.
"The ultimate metaphysical secret, if we dare state it so simply, is that there are no boundaries in the universe. Boundaries are illusions, products not of reality but of the way we map and edit reality. And while it is fine to map out the territory, it is fatal to confuse the two."
-- Ken Wilber (Source: No Boundary : Eastern and Western Approaches to Personal Growth, Page: 462)
Additionally, the more you're grounded in your true-self -- the more you can enjoy opening to receive the loving, unvarnished feedback from others. And as you increase your ability to enjoy the feedback process -- you naturally move through the world with more ease, joy and radiance.
"A community, I find, is essential. So, you and your partner might talk about your relationship with other people. Not like a big long thing, but just checking in. They'll know if you're full of shit or not. Really, your friends know. They might not talk about it. If they're second stage people they say, 'Hey, what you do is your business. You're responsible for your own happiness. I'm responsible for mine. I'm in no position to tell you what to do. Hey, if you need to do that, go ahead and do it.' Those are good second stage friends.
"Third stage friends say, 'Look, buddy, you're full of shit. I know you're enjoying yourself, fine. But don't delude yourself. You're not growing.' So, that's what you want, a third stage friend, someone who's really clear, loving, but doesn't bullshit you. And without that, you can't move into the third stage because by definition - I, you, as a self, as an ego, will always attempt to strengthen the self, the ego, who you are as a separate person. Everything you do, even these practices I'm describing, will become tools to strengthen. 'Boy, now I'm the third stage. I'm dedicated to serving all beings.' So, it's really easy to get into that and you need feedback. A good teacher helps, someone who's more stable in this practice than you. They could always reflect back to you, and good friends who are practicing at the same level of you are also very useful."
-- David Deida
Are you ready for the next step? Are you ready to develop the ability to play at a level Beyond Boundaries?
Then
after a break to socialize and/or order out for food, you'll have the
option to stay for ...
"Feminine and masculine needs for
appreciation grow though levels, from self-doubt, to self-assurance, to
self-giving.
At the lower levels, a relationship can be
rife with neediness: you are needy for constant reassurance that you are
loved, desired, and attractive, and your masculine partner is needy for
your admiration of his success and attainments. The middle levels of
growth involve developing self-appreciation, self-acceptance, and
self-admiration. The higher levels of growth involve surrendering open
and giving your deepest gifts of love and freedom -- in spite of whether
you feel appreciated by others or yourself."
"I, with a deeper
instinct, choose a man Through paired
and group exercises you'll have the opportunity to embody new skills and
new ways of being that will enable you to be more connected, free, and
radiant in all your relationships.
"Give all your love. I mean all your love.
You'll
expand your ability to be powerful while being loving and emotionally intimate.
You'll explore the power & freedom of: Leading AND Following, Masculine
AND Feminine, Direct AND Subtle ...
"The feminine grows
spiritually by learning to live as love rather than by hoping for it. The
masculine grows spiritually by learning to live as freedom rather than by
struggling for it." You'll
experience new levels of aliveness
and wisdom as you connect with more parts of yourself.
"Nothing must be flinched from. It all must be
felt, right to the heart, every last fiber of it, every in and out of it,
every glory and every horror, felt with pure vulnerability and openness of
eye, without any emotional dissociation." And you'll experience that, with more choice and connection to a wider
range of your internal resources, you're able to be more open, more often. From
that place you'll experience a deeper, more satisfying
intimacy -- with your self and with others.
"The truly faithless one is the one who
-- From
"Finding God Through Sex," a book by David Deida
who compels my strength,
who makes enormous demands on me,
who does not doubt my courage or my toughness,
who does not believe me naïve or innocent,
who has the courage to treat me like a woman."
-- Anais Nin
Why
not?
What do you think you can gain by holding back?"
-- David Deida
-- David Deida
-- Robert
Augustus Masters
makes love to only a fraction of you.
And denies the rest."
-- Anais Nin
"We must see that we are afraid of the thing we most desire, and so we live a mediocre life, never bringing to consummation the primary impulse of our heart."
-- David Deida
Intimacy Lounge
a "Third-Stage" celebration
9:45ish - ???
(To attend the Intimacy Lounge
you MUST have attended
the Beyond Boundaries Workshop or Third-Stage
Relating earlier that day.)
Now that we've been grounded, filled-up and deeply-connected through participation in the previous workshop, we can share are best and truest selves -- from a place of ease, joy and personal choice.
At this "Third-Stage" Celebration you can choose (or choose not) to participate in:
-- all served up with an abundance of freedom, ease, and lots of playful connecting.
Church of Soul
San Francisco Bay Area (Oakland)
To
purchase tickets and reserve your space, go here:
http://ecd0902.eventbrite.com/
Each personal ticket is good for the entire day (The Beyond Boundaries workshop, plus two optional bonuses: Third Stage Relating, plus Intimacy Lounge)
At the Door, day of the event: $120 per person (cash or check only)
Advance Registration: $89 per person -- expires Wednesday, Feb 25 @ 8pm
Early Bird Registration: expired
FAQ:
Why such big Early Registration
discounts?
Why
a special "Buddy Rate"?
Review
Yesterday I spent the day at the "Embodied
Community Day." I know that sounds (groan) sooooo Californian.
The invitation promised: a day that is "fun, juicy, inexpensive and open
to everyone who'd like to find out what’s possible when grounded,
empowered, open-hearted people come together." There would be an "enliven
your body" playshop, where we would learn new ways to express your essence
through movement, dance, yoga and touch and deepen our emotional
connections.
Then an Empowered Intimacy workshop led by
Scott Longwell
promising "new skills and new ways of being that will enable you to be
connected, free, and empowered in romantic relationships, at work, and in
Community." All capped off with an Intimacy Lounge of "Sultry Dance
and Sacred Chilling."
I was introduced to this group a week ago when I attended one of WholeBody
Wisdom's David Deida Inspired workshops
and video
screenings. It was an interesting concept -- workshop leader Scott
screened the Deida film to the group and then lead exercises from the
video, or exercises that took a riff on Deida's renowned teachings on
sacred intimacy and we experienced them first hand.
I have heard so much about Deida lately (maybe I'm just the last one on my
block -- he's written ten bestselling books) and wandered into the seminar
to learn what all the hype is about. I came away from the evening
feeling a better sense of what it means to be
a woman, to be fully present
in my body and my femininity and how creating that presence and openness
makes me significantly more attractive and available to the right kind of
men.
I was impressed with this group of people. First of all, they
were definitely far healthier and more attractive than average -- very
centered in their bodies, physical and fit. An uncommon number of them
seem to be acrobats, contact improv dancers or yogis, and they exude a
confident, self-assured presence.
At first the room seemed to be filled with people younger than me, but
later I learned that most of the participants were in their mid-30s to
late 40s and simply looked a lot younger than their actual age. The
ages ranged up to a man in his 70s.
It was raining here in the Bay Area so I decided, hey, why not -- and made
the long drive south to the light, airy white loft in
Oakland. A girl named Jamie Love
greeted me, and I deposited my
shoes in the heap at the door, and padded across the patchwork of thick
oriental rugs and sat on a cushion in the packed room.
As I arrived, the group was concluding the playshop where they were doing
acroyoga and contact improvisational dance exercises.
Then workshop leader Scott was moving into the
Deida-inspired intimacy
sessions.
Scott said: "Remember a time when you weren't fully empowered." He's
sitting on a futon in front of the group, flanked by a thin, athletic man
in his early 40s and a beautiful younger woman with waist length blonde
hair who strokes his hand as he speaks and "holds space." She beams
radiantly as if just being in this man's presence is energizing for her,
though I have to wonder if it's just an ego trip for him to have the
loveliest girl in the room practically sitting in his lap as he lectures.
Scott has a confident, self-satisfied air about him, and a big enigmatic
cheshire grin. He's a big man with a powerful build and a shiny shaved
head. He reminds me of a New Age Mr. Clean, here to clean up our karma and
scrub our inhibitions away.
"The thing that we think is ugliest about us...when we share it, it's no
longer hidden, and that in turn makes us more attractive," Scott says. One
woman in the room says her weakness is rescuing drug addicted men who end
up living in her house and taking her money. An attractive silver-haired
elderly woman says her fear is that her body will never make love again.
In turn, we confess to strangers, our deepest weakness. When it is my
turn, I say: "My pattern is that I get in relationships with fixer upper
men -- and buy fixer upper houses." The room giggles nervously.
"A lot of us choose a relationship based on the question: "Do I feel
safe?" he says. "Choosing someone weaker than us makes us feel more
powerful, but it's a lie. We want to be in control so we hire someone not
as smart as us." Scott, who formerly was a management consultant in the
corporate world, and still exudes this confident executive power over a
room, says: "It takes a lot of confidence to hire experts who are smarter
than you in areas where you are weak. In love, and work, you want someone
with different skills, but more powerful."
Scott then confesses to us that he was picked on as a child, and very
self-conscious as a young man because he was bigger than everyone else. In
confessing this secret to us, he did become more human, more real, and in
turn, more attractive. (Perhaps this is why we like to learn the
relationship woes of celebrities and relish in the marital distress of
stars. It makes them more human, vulnerable and thus even more attractive
to us.)
Scott points out a sign on the wall: "Often others see us more clearly
than we see ourselves. Our deepest gift is often underneath our biggest
fear."
We then moved into an exercise where we were asked a question by a partner
and then in turn, had to answer the question first as if we were coming
from our head, then as if we were centered in our heart, and finally, as
if we were one big genital. "Come on, answer this one as if you're one big
dick or one big juicy yoni," Scott joked. The room roared with laughter
as we put our whole bodies into answering that question. My partner
for that exercise was a guy who seemed forever stuck in his head, and I
instantly "got" how that when we respond to a sexual need with an
intellectual response we're not able to communicate effectively to our
partners and then just come across as wimpy and unattractive.
Later that night, we moved into the sacred chillspace -- which by the end
of the night had steamy windows and was starting to look more like a high
school dance, with couples making out in the shadowy corners of the room
on floor cushions. A beautiful man taught me how to do
contact Salsa dance
(a variation on Contact Improvisation)
I've been opening myself and my heart more to intimate energetic
connection with others, and now that I am less self conscious and
defensive I'm surprisingly a much better dancer. I was able to feel my
partner's energy and sense what direction he wanted to lead me. Instead of
stepping all over his feet, I was flowing, utterly in the moment of
what we were doing. I suddenly understood why
dance is the ultimate
seduction, and the best way to feel out a potential partner for
compatibility. Somewhere along the line we've become too intellectual and
too centered in our heads and thus unable to listen to our hearts. I
guess the WholeBody Wisdom Workshop was at it's core about learning how to
return to this kind of playful presence when we interact with each other.
The community playground that Scott creates promises the "opportunity to
be playfully serious and seriously playful, an expansion of your ability
to be open, loving and powerful in the face of real world challenges." I
think one could be cynical and say that's all just a bunch of West Coast
new age double speak, and there were a few newcomers to the event who
uncomfortably admitted they fe
The Purpose of WholeBody Wisdom is to empower and integrate all parts of yourself -- so that you can be:
Passionate,
Powerful,
Open, and
Loving
in the face of real world challenges.
WholeBody Wisdom
is based on the belief that we are the most powerful and free when we have integrated all parts of ourselves into one healthy system.
This system includes the mental body, the physical body, the
emotional body,
the intuitive body and the sexual body.
When each body is aligned with our core essence, and the bodies are
synergistically functioning together -- we can experience the greatest peace of mind
as we joyfully serve ourselves, our relationships and the world around us.
We believe that each body has valid wants, needs, desires and concerns.
These need to be, at the very least, heard and acknowledged.
Each body also has unique wisdom, strength and guidance to share with the other areas of the self. We are at our wisest when we are able to hold court listening to the interests, concerns and wisdom of each part of ourselves. Not being controlled by any one, but being advised and supported by them all.
WholeBody Wisdom offers workshops & private sessions which help men, women and couples embody powerful ways of being that can transform their life, their relationships, and the world around them.
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